Monday 14 January 2013


I struggle from time to time with self-doubt, self esteem. Dissatisfied with myself, striving to be better. And there are moments of grace when this struggle ceases.

I love sitting in the empty church here in Shankill - gazing at the tabernacle, connecting with Jesus who is hidden behind the golden door. In another church, another time while gazing at the tabernacle I got a lovely sense of contentment with who I am. As if God were saying to me "cherish who you are".

It became a lovely time of prayer during which I thought how nice my name is, especially hearing it spoken by someone who loves me - "Eamonn" and then "Monson", my family, the Pallottines. I love the name of Mervue where I grew up, Galway my home town and, when I lived abroad, I loved the sound of Ireland.

All of these resonate within me. I am formed and shaped by them, they express who I am, my identity.

And it seemed like a magnetic force was pulling me to the tabernacle, drawing me spiritually to Jesus hidden there and to the awareness that the fulness of who I am is hidden in Him there. The fulness of my identity is to be found in Him, a completeness that includes all of my natural, human identity.

The invitation of Jesus in "make your home in me, as I make mine in you". Home. This is one of the most important experiences in life - being at home. At home with myself, at home with life, with people, with God.

At a Pallottine meeting in Poland in 1997 I was among high flying, highly educated men and for a moment I felt at odds, ill at ease when I sensed the reminder that I am at home in God. So much so that wherever I am, I am at home.

This is God's desire for us that we experience an abiding sense of belonging

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