Thursday 28 January 2016

ROOM OF AN ANCIENT WOUND


While I am thinking
Of the moon

Waxing lyrical

In its striving
To emerge

Through cloud
Again

The boy inside a man
Desperately needs

To break
Out of the dark

Room of an ancient
Wound

He questions
The recall of his
Mind

Emotional
Memory

Is
Without doubt

Convulsing
In its honesty

Bursting

Into tears
When the movie tells
A story like his own

Assaulting

Every involuntary
Fibre of him
Compulsing

I pray the prayer
He cannot say

Express a hope
He cannot feel

Beg God

Put forth
Your arm in strength
On his behalf

How long

The wounded
Wait

The mounting years
Too many

I am helpless
Beneath the sundered
Sky

Jet blackness
Set against
A kind radiance

Silver lining
Of the night

Behold she comes
Bright brilliance

Low, lopsided, lovely
The moon as mother
Appears

Beacon of a goodness
That might prevail
And not fail again

Saturday 23 January 2016

DESERT


The desert
Has no light
Of its own

The night

Sky illumines
The darkness
Pulsating

Stars brilliant
Moon

There's a cry

In the desert
Like no other

True

With no pretence
In it

A thirst

Like no other
Most intense

And lonely
The yearning

That will not
Be satisfied

Sunday 17 January 2016

DECEMBER



Moonlight
On a flooded field

Coat blown
Open to December's
Weather

Warmer
Than summer

Something
Has turned

Inside her

Nothing
Is as it was

Before
The hurt

Kindness
Spurned goodness
Repudiated

She is uncertain now
Of everything

All that she trusted

Thursday 14 January 2016

AND MAY GOD'S LOVE BE WITH YOU: Remembering David Bowie & The Influence Of Music On Prayer



Last Friday morning January 8 I was at home in Galway sorting through CD’s, deciding which to keep and which to get rid of. Among those I decided to keep was The Best of David Bowie from 1997. I had forgotten I had it and was delighted to re-connect with it again. It didn’t dawn on me at the time that Friday was David Bowie’s birthday and I didn’t realize that he was in the last days of his life.

On Monday morning I got a text from my brother saying it was hard to believe that Bowie had bowed out. That was the first I heard of his death and it occupied my mind and my memories for the rest of the day.

In the Summer of ’72, at the age of 17, with my Leaving Cert done (and failed!) I was working in Southgate in London and staying with my aunt Eileen and her family. I was a music fanatic and always watched TOTP and was watching on an evening in July when David Bowie came on singing ‘Starman’. I had never seen or heard of him before, never saw or heard the likes of him and I was immediately hooked – and, until the late 1980’s, a fan of the man and his unique sound. It wasn’t the lyrics that grabbed me so much as the sound – his voice, the music.

The effect of Bowie on my young life led me to ponder the important place music has in our lives and it’s interesting how music evokes a time, an interior feeling, brings memory alive that touches into the very core of who we are on all levels, including our spiritual life. So many people have said that he provided the soundtrack to our youth in the 1970's - it touched into the very life within us. Music, even secular music can become a prayer that leads us into the mystery of God in our lives.

St. Vincent Pallotti was very keenly aware of how all of creation can connect us with God and eternal life. In his meditation on ‘God The Infinite Love’ he writes:

“You have given us…all kinds of different sounds so that we may fall in love with the eternal canticles of glory in the splendour of the saints. You have given me all that is visible to help my soul to keep alive and ever growing in the kingdom of your holy love and thus be wholly immersed and transformed in your divine love, in your infinite charity and in yourself.” (GOD THE INFINITE LOVE MEDITATION VI)

The positive effects of music are seen in the case of King Saul and David. David was a very good musician. Whenever the evil spirit came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him (1 Samuel 16:23)

A Japanese scientist, Dr. Emoto Masaru, has studied the effects of music on water and has concluded that classical music creates beautiful patterns in the crystals that make up the water, while at the other end of the spectrum heavy metal creates ugly mushy patterns. The implications for our own human lives, our physical being, are very significant since our bodies are made up mostly of water.

So, it’s important for our wellbeing on all levels that we choose wisely what we listen to. We are shaped and formed by what we watch and what we listen to. A Cistercian monk in his book ‘Ascent To Love’ says that each of us stands guard at the door of our soul and to everything that comes our way we need to ask ‘are you for me or are you against me?’

This is a question we need to ask of the music that we listen to – is it good for me or not? And at the deepest level we need to ask – is the music I’m listening to drawing me closer to God or is it taking me further away from Him?

I take the Word of God as my guide in deciding what to listen to, especially two texts from St. Paul – “whatever you do, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17) and “…fill your minds with whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things…and the God who gives us peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8)

When I listened to David Bowie’s ‘Starman’, ‘Life On Mars’ and ‘Space Oddity’ – these brought me beyond myself to the vastness of the universe and from there into the infinity of God. My desire for God was intensified. And of course I know that there is life on Mars, the life of God who is everywhere, present in all of His creation.

We change over the course of the years, our needs change; musicians go off the boil, lose their edge, become flabby internally - as I have done myself - or go down roads that I do not wish to follow, roads that would be unwise to follow.

This happened me with David Bowie – after the 1980’s his music no longer spoke to me. Some of it seemed affected, some of it too dark for me. I’m uncomfortable with the his final album which was released on his birthday – the imagery is too dark for me. Maybe he’s expressing the trauma of his terminal illness and maybe I’m simply uncomfortable with my own mortality and maybe there is something darker still. I’ve never liked the idea of black candles and I don’t like the idea of a black star so I’m leaving this one aside.

What I hold onto in relation to David Bowie is what his music did for my youth; the tears that came down my face when he arrived on the stage in Slane in 1987; I honour the spirit in him at a concert in Wembly in front of 80,000 people when David knelt down and prayed the Our Father*. I agree with him when he said, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” And I share the same tribute that Cardinal Ravasi wrote on Bowie’s death, quoting the line from ‘Space Oddity’ “…and may God’s love be with you.”

It happens regularly enough that I wake in the morning with a song going round in my head, a song that somehow has relevance or significance for that day or the time in my life. It’s an experience of God speaking to us in the ordinary things of life. 

And, sometimes when I’m praying a secular song comes into my mind and it somehow becomes an expression of the prayer I need to make. For many years ‘Endless Love’ by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie expresses what I feel for God and I find myself singing it to God even as I’m going about my daily work. It’s a lovely expression for me of what my consecration as a religious and as a priest means. My first love, the love that is the source of all other love. 


“My first love, You're every breath that I take, 
You're every step I make
And I want to share all my love with you, 
and I'll give it all to you 
My love My love, my love, My endless love” 

Another unlikely source of a song that became a prayer for me is ‘Love Thy Will Be Done’ written by Prince and sung by Martika.

Love thy will be done
I can no longer hide, I can no longer run 
No longer can I resist the guiding light 
It gives me the power to keep up the fight 
Oh love thy will be done 

Since I have found you, my life has just begun 
And I see all of your creations as one perfect complex 
No one less beautiful or more special than the next 
We are all blessed and so wise to accept 
Thy will love be done 

Love thy will be mine 
And make me strive for the glorious and divine 
I could not be more, more satisfied 
Even when there's no peace outside my window,
there is peace inside 
And that's why I no longer run 

Love thy will be done 

Thy will be done of course expresses the prayer of Mary at the Annunciation and the prayer of Jesus himself in the Garden of Gethsemane. Let it be done to me according to your Word – not my will by yours be done. It is the prayer of perfect surrender to God. So may all of us have the courage to pray in the same way as Jesus and Mary. 

May God and fill you with the joy of good music, enrich you with abundant blessings, holding you close in tender, faithful love.

There is something about beauty which has the power to touch us deeply, to leave us breathless in wonder, to move us to the very depths of our being…the sound of waves lapping against the seashore, of a piece of poetry or music or a work of art which speaks to us in ways beyond our ability to explain, of the almost infinite variety of human beings of so many different shapes and sizes and qualities.To those whose hearts are attuned, the beauty of creation is a sign pointing beyond itself. (Gabriela Mistral, Chilean poet, 1889-1957, Decalogue of the Artist)



Bowie added the prayer between songs, prefaced with words about remembering those who had died or were ill. He explained the moment to the now-defunct British magazine Arena in a 1993 interview:

"I decided to do it about five minutes before I went on stage. Coco [Schwab, Bowie’s long-term personal assistant] and I had a friend called Craig who was dying of AIDS. He was just dropping into a coma that day. And just before I went on stage something just told me to say the Lord’s Prayer. The great irony is that he died two days after the show.

….In rock music, especially in the performance arena, there is no room for prayer, but I think that so many of the songs people write are prayers. A lot of my songs seem to be prayers for unity within myself. On a personal level, I have an undying belief in God’s existence. For me it is unquestionable.

….Looking at what I have done in my life, in retrospect so much of what I thought was adventurism was searching for my tenuous connection with God. I was always investigating, always looking into why religions worked and what it was people found in them. And I was always fluctuating from one set of beliefs to another until a very low point in the mid-Seventies where I developed a fascination with black magic... And although I’m sure there was a satanic lead pulling me towards it, it wasn't a search for evil. It was in the hope that the signs might lead me somewhere." 




























































































Friday 1 January 2016

Threshold Of Hope: New Year 2016


Feast of Mary Mother of God & World Day of Peace

We come to the threshold of a new year, to a crossing in which we are carried by Christ; carried within Him in the mystery of Word and Eucharist. For the Christian it is always a threshold of hope.

We come to it – together or alone - in the company of Mary, Mother of God, Mother of Peace and, with her we pause to glance back at the year that is ending, we pause to ponder and to treasure in our hearts all that has been. There are experiences of great personal pain, of death and births that did not happen. There are babies who were born, dreams that were fulfilled, challenges met and obstacles overcome. We ponder in order to recognize the presence of God in all that we have been given to experience and this recognition of God’s presence in the past gives us hope for the future that is unfolding.

This is a contemplative, reflective moment that is necessary in every human life so that we are not endlessly rushing from one experience to another without learning the lessons and the wisdom offered by God in every single thing.

Looking back and moving forward we need to decide what to take with us and what to leave behind so that we don’t spend our lives hauling excess baggage, being unnecessarily burdened. The invitation of God in the Bible is to “unload all your worries on to Him because He is looking after you.” We need not carry more than is necessary.

We cross the threshold with Mary, abiding in Christ with the prayer of the Spirit of Jesus – “Abba Father” - rising in our hearts and the Eucharist as food for the journey.

I have had a great year. Being 60 years of age is a wonderful experience and I have learned the importance of the dreams that God has placed in our hearts. Dreams that I have held in my heart since childhood.

There is one dream that I decided to fulfil during the year – to travel for a week on a cargo ship – and it almost came true but didn’t in the end. But two other dreams did come true through no effort of my own.

The first was getting to spend a few days in a lighthouse, a gift given me by my family who were attentive to my dreams. The second is that I got to become a presenter on radio, Radio Maria. I didn’t seek it out. It was given. And this teaches me that I may propose to do something that is good and God given but God may choose otherwise, choosing instead to surprise me. And so I look back on these surprises and move forward in expectancy of surprises to come.

At home after Christmas I got to spend a day alone with my two youngest nieces - Katie and Laura – aged 7 and 5. I had decided not to buy them presents because they are overwhelmed with too many things. My intention was to offer them an experience – the experience of our presence with each other. Part of the plan was to bring them to a movie that they wanted to see.

I can’t remember which of the storms was raging in Galway on that particular day but it was horrendously wet and we couldn’t get parking anywhere. Everyone seemed to be out in town that day and when I said to the girls that we might not get to the movie, they said “we can just go to  your house.” And I loved their adaptability. They were content not to get what was promised, content with whatever we might do together.

We went to Bonkers, an indoor play area for a couple of hours, followed by a Supermacs takeaway which we ate at home in the sitting room at my house and when it came to time for going home they were reluctant to leave. During the drive back home the three of us sang Christmas carols and there was such purity and sincerity in their singing that I felt I had reached the summit of Christmas.

This is something I carry across the threshold into 2016, the song of a child in my heart, song of gladness and praise. Singing is also part of the prayer of the Spirit in all our hearts, the prayer that has power in it to shift the darkness in which we will inevitably find ourselves from time to time.
And we carry blessing, the blessing given by God to Mosses and Aaron in Numbers chapter 6 – “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord uncover His face to you, and give you peace.”
I like this idea of the Lord uncovering His Face, revealing himself to us in the journey that lies ahead. It is for us, in moving forward, to keep the eyes of our soul focused on the light that shines from God’s face, a light that no darkness can overcome. May it be done in the Spirit, in the people who bless our lives every day and in the circumstances that will unfold. May we see the face of God.