I Am Said I (Huruma)

There is an invisible Baseball bat Hard-hitting You wield it well Beating down The hidden heart Disabling every part Of who I am Reaching out To strike my soul But it's not yours To touch

I'm on the tracks You drive the train It was my fault I hurt you But was it prayer That inspired My humiliation? This devastating Scrutiny Your sworded tongue Thrust into the marrow Dismantling my credibility? And when you Have relieved yourself All over me You sit there Smiling In the aftermath As only a certain Kind of woman can Surprised By my pain

Glencairn Abbey Gates fascinate me. There is something in them like a calling. A thrill runs through my whole being in attentive moments when I'm alert and pass by a gate. It reminds me of the Song of Songs when the Beloved comes to the garden gate - "...my heart was thrilled within me." (Songs 5:4) It's as if every ordinary gate is a prophecy of THE Gate that I must pass through. This morning as I was walking towards the sea I felt the sensation, the thrill as I passed by a particular gate and I found myself asking God for THE Gate, to bring me to it. I don't know what THE Gate is or what it really means in concrete reality. I could guess but I don't know how or when it will reveal itself. Anyway when I got back in home I picked up the Magnificat for morning prayer and was surprised, astonished to read all of the following which I find very consoling: Today your gate stands open, And all who enter in Shall find a Father's...

I can get up at eight And not be late If I stay in bed Till ten or twelve And I can meditate Whenever the Spirit Moves me

I do not want To empathize With lies To be sucked Into false emotion However sad It is wasted Energy Draining the age That is left to us We're too old For that now Almost too late For you to shed The disguise But we have to Hope in the Truth That sets us free