I Am Said I (Huruma)

Immersed In Mercy During a retreat in the Camaldolese monastery near Frascati in 1839 St. Vincent Pallotti wrote that he was in extreme need of what he calls an “infinite deluge of divine mercy” and he says “I found myself immersed in an immense sea of divine Mercy”. The need and the experience of Mercy was vast and abundant. To describe God Pallotti uses words such as infinite, immeasurable, incomprehensible. God is immense, infinite, immeasurable and incomprehensible Mercy. They are powerful images – being washed in the deluge, being immersed in the sea and finding oneself. It is when I am so overwhelmed, immersed in God that I find my true self, who I truly am and who I am called to become. What matters in this immersion is that I become an altogether new creation (Galations 6:15). It matters that I keep striving for this and not settle for less. I love to stand on a cliff on Inis Mor in the Aran Islands and look out at the expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. It reminds me of God, the Me...

I am a whale In a fish tank No room to move Not able to breathe No means of escape Prisoner to your desire To possess And you think It's quite acceptable Not having the sense To know that If you cling to me You will lose me If you let me go There's a chance That I'll remain

'...the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”' It's as if God has been placing young people with autism in my path for a purpose in recent times. I admire their direct honesty, saying exactly what they think, expressing the exact truth of a situation in which they find themselves. Jesus has the same direct, simple truthfulness in Him. He says it as it is, saying exactly what He means. And this is what is offered by Him on this feast of the Body and Blood of Christ. In the above quote from the first Eucharist, Jesus takes the bread and says, "this is my body." Plain and simple. Holy Communion is the Body of Christ. We cannot understand or explain how but, because He is God, Jesus can do all things including turning bread into His body, giving Himself to us in the form of bread. The child in me trusts Him and accepts what He says ...

It's Pentecost Sunday morning and I feel like I'm a defeated, deflated cartoon character being dragged along by life, despite the fact that I have had a fantastic week in Disneyland Paris. An uncertain sadness has held me in its grip for many weeks now. It refuses to release me and I seem to be powerless to shake it off and, with the best of intentions, no one can take it from me. It holds me in resolute solitude and my heart utters the sentiments of Psalm 13, "How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart day and night?" Perhaps it is not my own personal sorrow and maybe it's vicarious. It roughly dates back to the death of two year old Heidi, to the fact that she is the second child to be taken from her parents in the space of two months - they now have one child left. I feel something of their desolation,  their fear - and I have no answer for the questions that people are asking about God in all of this. The priest in confession a c...

Fields Of Gold Sunflowers And Butterflies by LouisaBryantAcrylics I have dabbled In aloneness Dipping my toe Into the shallows A safe distance Close enough to feel The comfort of friends God with skin God shedding skin He tripped me Into ice black I fell Descending right down To the lower regions Black panther prowling Where Christ has gone The deep recesses Mother of all sorrows That knows no solace This patch of earth This grave Those standing round The only environment In need of saving now This patch of earth This grave Beautiful body Dearest child The third to sleep In this soil Parents riven To shreds I am plunged Into their Nothingness My soul abandoned On the altar Rebuffed Lost for words When God accused Is held to account Disappointed That he did not take Me instead of her It's what I asked (Earth Day, April 22, 2016)

HEIDI Friday April 22nd is international Earth Day but I’m only vaguely aware of this. There is no space in me now for the wider world because my whole being is focused on the patch of earth in front of me - the grave that receives the white coffin of a two year old girl. This is our Earth Day and, though it may seem small in the context of the whole world, it is also bigger and more important than all the earth. This patch of earth, this grave has previously received her brother who died 11 years ago aged three months and their sister who died only two months ago at the age of four. How can two parents bear such sorrow? My two young nieces were talking in the back of the car last week, talking about heaven. Laura, the younger, said “If I died and went to heaven I’d have no family.” And Katie said straight away, “But Laura, Jesus is your brother and God is your Father and Mary is your mother.” They are aged 5 and 7 and they always have the knack of putting me in touch with some truth a...

In all  truth  I tell you, when you were young you put on your own belt and walked where you liked; but when you grow old you  will  stretch out your hands, and somebody else  will   put a belt round you and take you where you would rather not go.' (John 21:18) It may come to pass That when I grow old I will always be cold By the fire In the draft Of an open door Afraid when left On my own By my own disowned And when I lose myself My self control They will take me To a place where I would rather not go Leaving me there Until I go senseless Useless And then I will cry like a child With an ache that is not understood Not having the words to define it And all I will know Is a far distant fear Ever near That I am unfit for Communion And raising the cap I no longer possess with respect I will cry like a child Until Christ be in everything And everything within me