I Am Said I (Huruma)

VOCATION TESTIMONY PENTECOST VIGIL KNOCK JUNE 7, 2014 God often speaks to me through music. I’m at home watching the Late Late show in the mid-1990’s. There’s just Mam and me with the couch pulled up near the fire. I’m going through a bit of inner turmoil, feeling that I’m not living up to my calling as well as I should. Then on comes Charlie Lansborough. I’m not into country music but, when he sings “My Forever Friend”, tears well up in my eyes - not out of guilt or sadness but they were tears of recognition. I felt the inner conviction that Jesus is my forever friend. This conviction is better expressed for me in the song by Delirious? - “What A Friend I’ve Found”. It’s the song I want to die to because it expresses what I live. My life, my vocation is based in my friendship with Jesus. The story of my vocation is not a dramatic one in that I didn’t go through a big conversion experience. When God says to the Prophets “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before...

  VOCATION TESTIMONY PENTECOST VIGIL KNOCK JUNE 7, 2014 God often speaks to me through music. I’m at home watching the Late Late show in the mid-1990’s. There’s just Mam and me with the couch pulled up near the fire. I’m going through a bit of inner turmoil, feeling that I’m not living up to my calling as well as I should. Then on comes Charlie Lansborough. I’m not into country music but, when he sings “My Forever Friend”, tears well up in my eyes - not out of guilt or sadness but they were tears of recognition. I felt the inner conviction that Jesus is my forever friend. This conviction is better expressed for me in the song by Delirious? - “What A Friend I’ve Found”. It’s the song I want to die to because it expresses what I live. My life, my vocation is based in my friendship with Jesus. The story of my vocation is not a dramatic one in that I didn’t go through a big conversion experience. When God says to the Prophets “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you came...

For nearly six years now since my mother died, I've been travelling down the distance from Dublin to Galway first of all to visit my family and secondly to keep the gardens of home in check. It sounds posh to say "gardens" as if I own an estate. The housing estate of Mervue that was built by the corporation in the 1950's was well planned, thoughtfully providing a lot of public and private space. Our family home is one of six terraced houses in Ceannt Avenue where we were given three gardens. One small one at the front, another small one at the back and then the big back garden that was used in our youth for growing vegetables. It was my mother's garden. It was she who cultivated it when she was young and strong enough to do so. In later years she turned it into a lawn edged on one side with lovely shrubs and small trees. And she left all of this to me before she died, wanting me to have a place of my own to come home to.      I'm no Diarmuid Gav...

For nearly six years now since my mother died, I've been travelling down the distance from Dublin to Galway first of all to visit my family and secondly to keep the gardens of home in check. It sounds posh to say "gardens" as if I own an estate. The housing estate of Mervue that was built by the corporation in the 1950's was well planned, thoughtfully providing a lot of public and private space. Our family home is one of six terraced houses in Ceannt Avenue where we were given three gardens. One small one at the front, another small one at the back and then the big back garden that was used in our youth for growing vegetables. It was my mother's garden. It was she who cultivated it when she was young and strong enough to do so. In later years she turned it into a lawn edged on one side with lovely shrubs and small trees. And she left all of this to me before she died, wanting me to have a place of my own to come home to.      I'm no Diarmuid Gav...

"Always have your answer ready for people who ask you the reason for the hope you all have"  (1 Peter 3:15) My answer is not a theology or a logic or even an explanation. It is an experience that is known and understood in my soul. It is beyond words but we also need to put some words on it. Each of us needs to put our own words on a truth that is eternal. The soul gets crusty and rusty and smothered by all sorts of clutter, so it's necessary to clear away the debris that has gathered in and around the it. This clearing away takes me back to a time of pure innocence, the time of my First Holy Communion.  I knew that Jesus Himself was coming into me, into my soul and I longed for Him, approaching Him with great reverence in the way that I see reverence in the children of today, the reverence that is essential for the well-being of the soul. And I was expecting a physical brightness to take place in me, wondering if the soles of my shoes would shine brightl...

Firmer than flour A sack of grain Stacked solid Capable of being Dented Sat upon Hauled Incapable Of moving free From shadow The persistent Pursuing dark The child loved this Persevering Obedient Waiting Without question Sitting solitary still On a rock Gazing Sea of blue and black Yellow and green and red I loved hiding In safe dark spaces Utterly alone And present

Letting go of what I know All that I cling to for safety I fall through the open door And dive plunging Into the deep abyss Of nothingness That I do not know At the centre of my being Unfathomable mystery That contains the universe Held encompassed by God It is into His hands That I will land If I land at all Or fall further Beyond the decayed Debris of my past To the incredibly vibrant Colour that lies hidden Beneath what can be seen Of me