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I Am Said I (Huruma)

Eamonn Monson - Mostly Prior to Hastings

BROKEN BEACH

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- September 18, 2014

Down the cliff
The station house has fallen
Fractured fragments
On a broken beach

The ground where once
We stood secure
No longer there

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EYES OF THE BLIND - Memories of Blessing

- March 25, 2017

God does not see as we see. We look at appearances but God looks at the heart, the interior. ( 1 Samuel 16:6-7 ). In the healing of the blind man God seeks to lead us to the opening of the eyes of our mind, heart and soul so that we learn to see as God sees, that we come to see the presence of God in every circumstance of life, to recognize the blessings that flow from the presence of God, “ that the works of God might be displayed ” (John 9). A central purpose of the miracles of Jesus is to lead us to faith, a deepening of faith which in turn leads us to worship God. That was the purpose of the Exodus from slavery in Egypt – that the people of Israel could be free to worship God. The man cured of his blindness arrived at a point faith, “ The man said, ‘Lord, I believe’, and worshipped him” (John 9:38). The miracles are also of course expressions of the compassionate love that God has for us all, especially anyone in distress. Blessings come to us in many ways – th...

YOUR GATE STANDS OPEN

- August 26, 2016

Glencairn Abbey Gates fascinate me. There is something in them like a calling. A thrill runs through my whole being in attentive moments when I'm alert and pass by a gate. It reminds me of the Song of Songs when the Beloved comes to the garden gate - "...my heart was thrilled within me." (Songs 5:4) It's as if every ordinary gate is a prophecy of THE Gate that I must pass through. This morning as I was walking towards the sea I felt the sensation, the thrill as I passed by a particular gate and I found myself asking God for THE Gate, to bring me to it. I don't know what THE Gate is or what it really means in concrete reality. I could guess but I don't know how or when it will reveal itself. Anyway when I got back in home I picked up the Magnificat for morning prayer and was surprised, astonished to read all of the following which I find very consoling: Today your gate stands open, And all who enter in Shall find a Father's...

The Prayer Of Quiet Gazing

- April 01, 2015

St. Teresa of Avila has been one of the most significant guides of my spiritual life since I was 17 years old. I began reading her very early in my life as a Pallottine and there are two moments – a dream and a time in prayer - that have connected me to her. In the dream I walked into an old unfamiliar church where I met my father who was already dead at the time. He pointed me to a side altar at the top left-hand side. When I went there I saw St. Teresa’s tomb in front of the altar. It was like the Italian ones with the shape of the body carved in marble; she was sleeping covered with a blanket. Then she stirred and woke up, telling me to stand between her and the altar. “Stay here” she said “and I will take care of you.” The second happened during a charismatic retreat when I was resting in the Spirit, in a state of quiet. A rope ladder came down from heaven and standing beside it was St. Teresa who pointed to the ladder and said to me, “I have given you the means to ascen...

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This Month

LOVE CRIES

- November 10, 2012

Love cries Because it loves Its tears selfish And not selfish at all It cannot bear absence Not loving the one For whom it would Give its whole life If it could be measured It would have The length and depth Of tears Floods and Oceans For Love is water In all its shapes And temperament And when I die Do not put sweet words On my lips I will not say That I am only gone To the next room I will not ask you Not to cry I should not tell you Anything about how You should grieve But if I would I should ask you to cry And cry as you must Until the time for letting go And I would ask for the flowers Of your garden Cascading their fragrance Like incense all around About us as testament To our loneliness and loving The loving that is perfected In all its expressions

Waiting

- March 05, 2021

Across the field to dawn at sea a corner in the midday sun beneath the sky at night alone within his heart the warrior waits for death the watchman waits for dawn to this have I been called to wait on God a moment forever in expectancy of surprise.

Lazarus

- July 31, 2012

The man whom Jesus loves The one whom I love Is not well And Jesus takes his time Mother, Father Sister, Brother Child and friend is walled up In the tomb Of death I am W alled up Inside myself Something in me has died There is decay within Then Jesus wept And loved And prayed And called. He did that A long time ago And he’s doing it Now Come out He shouts Unbind them And let them go Free

LONELY ENDING (In Memory Of Paul Carty)

- January 24, 2013

The stillness of a staring horse Residue of Autumn rust On near-bare trees November mourners Gaze at the opposite Shore of the quiet lake Pondering what was witnessed There by God's creation The lonely ending A wounded beautiful life Pushed beyond the edge Of no return Into the deep emptiness Denied the right to love And see and touch To hear and hold His one Beloved Child And in the cold Dark stillness of the dawn We are left with unanswerable Questions, unspeakable Loss But this I know That God is close To the broken hearted And always sends his Angel To attend to the Gethsemane Of our lives

FOR THE LAST DROP OF BLOOD (Syrophonecian)

- August 01, 2012

(In honour of Mother and Father) I want to feel The heart of the Mother The flesh-pang of the Father All dependent She throws herself In front of a car To save the life He holds a hospital hostage That the child can be treated And live It is instinct Not reason That will do anything To spare the fruit Of loins and womb Such love Does not pause To think things through Only they know How to pray With such desperation To take God on At the coalface Fighting to the last Drop of sweat For the last Drop of blood For life they wrestle With Life Demanding A blessing and a declaration No matter what The injury to self It is the only prayer Worth praying The only worthwhile way In it they are most Like God +++ Jesus left Gennesaret and withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. Then out came a Canaanite woman from that district and started shouting, ‘Sir, Son of David, take pity on me. My daughter is tormented by a devil.’ But he answered her not a word. And his disciples went and plea...

SEPTEMBER

- September 24, 2020

I feel September In my bones The cool air of Autumn On my skin The colour of Summer On my face And peace within The youth grown suddenly tall Returning in the joy of festival freedom A church bell tolls The passing of the Hours The turning of the days And night lengthening It will soon be time To go inside With quiet reflection New lessons learned And all things gathered To the fire and to the soul The warmth that keeps us Through dark seasons New beginnings and fresh hope

Drifting Away

- August 02, 2022

I feel like a Yank Returning to this rugged Remoteness Her face in repose Utterly unfamiliar In death It is her voice That remains The bright kindliness With which she used To speak my name Summoning summer days Of another time Young men Fishing Fast driving Effortless friendship I remember David diving Into the bottle-green Calm of the deep To retrieve the oar That had slipped Drifting away Like a prophecy Coming back To the shallow shore And the dying Out of our friendship I still don’t know How we became Such strangers I think of him now Pray for him s leeping Slipping away Far away from here The innocent bed We shared back then In the way that young friends did As close in soul As in body The tender warmth Of it The beauty And though it is lost It is a history That abides within my soul Treasured

INTOLERABLE LANGUAGE (The Eucharist)

- January 14, 2013

John 6:1-15 The Feeding... It's worth paying attention to the movements & gestures of Jesus. What He does is as significant as what He says. His actions speak. At the beginning of Matthew 5 leading into the Sermon on the Mount Jesus goes up on to the hill, sits down and gathers the disciples to himself. Then He begins to speak. The hill or mountain is the sacred place where God reveals Himself; the seated position for teaching ("ex cathedra") signifies that the teaching is of central importance; the gathering of the disciples around Him indicates that they have been called out of the crowd for a particular relationship of intimacy with Jesus who is the centre of their attention, their lives. A similar movement takes place at the beginning of John 6 where Jesus presents himself as the new Passover, bread for the hunger of humanity. The miracle of the loaves and fish, the rejection of earthly power, the escape to the solitude of the hills, the waling ...

Finding Refuge In God

- November 28, 2016

"For, over all, the glory of the Lord will be a canopy and a tent to give shade from the heat, refuge and shelter from the storm and the rain." (Isaiah 4:6) A canopy and a tent. In the summer times my mother would wash the bed sheets and spread them out over the long grass in the big back garden. And we would crawl under the sheets, thinking of them as tents, white tents of the desert lit up by the summer sun. I was always looking out for shelters, secret places of refuge and, in my adult spiritual life I have been drawn to the tents of the Old Testament. The Tent of Meeting where Moses met with God; the tent of Abraham where God appeared in the guise of three angelic strangers. We used to go to the grotto in Castlegar at home during the month of May across the rocky fields that might have been a quarry and there we imagined and lived all sorts of adventures in palaces and boats. And we found there places to shelter. I found one that I was particularly plea...

I COME HERE WITH NOTHING - A Lourdes Bath

- November 01, 2012

I'm told that priests don't have to queue for the Baths in Lourdes but something in me resists such privilege and I go down as a civilian, taking my place with all the other men and wait. It's easier for men than women because there are not as many of us. It's a very hot day but my time standing under the burning sun lasts only half an hour and then I'm into the shaded, seated area. There's a blessedness in waiting in common with others. Waiting and silent. Present. Some men chatter with each other from time to time and over the distorted loud-speaker people are praying and singing to help us focus. It's an assault rather than a help, so I block it out and pray within myself. Sometimes my eyes are closed, sometimes I simply observe. This reminds me of the pool of Bethesda in John 5 - the paralysed waiting for the moment of healing. As well as priests and religious the old and infirm get priority over the rest of us and it is truly ...

This Year

EYES OF THE BLIND - Memories of Blessing

- March 25, 2017

God does not see as we see. We look at appearances but God looks at the heart, the interior. ( 1 Samuel 16:6-7 ). In the healing of the blind man God seeks to lead us to the opening of the eyes of our mind, heart and soul so that we learn to see as God sees, that we come to see the presence of God in every circumstance of life, to recognize the blessings that flow from the presence of God, “ that the works of God might be displayed ” (John 9). A central purpose of the miracles of Jesus is to lead us to faith, a deepening of faith which in turn leads us to worship God. That was the purpose of the Exodus from slavery in Egypt – that the people of Israel could be free to worship God. The man cured of his blindness arrived at a point faith, “ The man said, ‘Lord, I believe’, and worshipped him” (John 9:38). The miracles are also of course expressions of the compassionate love that God has for us all, especially anyone in distress. Blessings come to us in many ways – th...

YOUR GATE STANDS OPEN

- August 26, 2016

Glencairn Abbey Gates fascinate me. There is something in them like a calling. A thrill runs through my whole being in attentive moments when I'm alert and pass by a gate. It reminds me of the Song of Songs when the Beloved comes to the garden gate - "...my heart was thrilled within me." (Songs 5:4) It's as if every ordinary gate is a prophecy of THE Gate that I must pass through. This morning as I was walking towards the sea I felt the sensation, the thrill as I passed by a particular gate and I found myself asking God for THE Gate, to bring me to it. I don't know what THE Gate is or what it really means in concrete reality. I could guess but I don't know how or when it will reveal itself. Anyway when I got back in home I picked up the Magnificat for morning prayer and was surprised, astonished to read all of the following which I find very consoling: Today your gate stands open, And all who enter in Shall find a Father's...

The Prayer Of Quiet Gazing

- April 01, 2015

St. Teresa of Avila has been one of the most significant guides of my spiritual life since I was 17 years old. I began reading her very early in my life as a Pallottine and there are two moments – a dream and a time in prayer - that have connected me to her. In the dream I walked into an old unfamiliar church where I met my father who was already dead at the time. He pointed me to a side altar at the top left-hand side. When I went there I saw St. Teresa’s tomb in front of the altar. It was like the Italian ones with the shape of the body carved in marble; she was sleeping covered with a blanket. Then she stirred and woke up, telling me to stand between her and the altar. “Stay here” she said “and I will take care of you.” The second happened during a charismatic retreat when I was resting in the Spirit, in a state of quiet. A rope ladder came down from heaven and standing beside it was St. Teresa who pointed to the ladder and said to me, “I have given you the means to ascen...

MARANATHA - Hope For The Hopeless

- November 30, 2016

First Sunday of Advent In the early 1980's the famous Benedictine monk John Main came to Tanzania to give a retreat and teach his Maranatha method of meditation. It's a simple method of sitting still for 20 minutes morning and evening, repeating the Word 'Maranatha' over and over in silence. The word is referred to as a mantra. Maranatha is the great prayer of Advent and it means 'Come Lord Jesus', expressing the profound yearning for God that is in the heart of every person. It is the Advent prayer of the whole Church. The retreat was attended by the Medical Missionaries of Mary and some Pallottines and it's safe to say that the sisters were more enthusiastic about it than the priests. One day some time after the retreat one of the sisters was on her way to Arusha and she stopped for a break in a Pallottine Mission house where she asked the priest, "how is your mantra going?" "Well sister" he replied, "it...

VULNERABILITY - The Place Which No One Occupies Willingly

- March 18, 2016

New Evangelization is all the talk in the Church now and I’m a bit tired of it, somewhat suffocated by its relentless demand for new ways of doing things. I’ve tried many things and none of them seem to work in the sense that none of them endure or last for long enough. We evangelize by the essence of who and how we are. We evangelize by presence, a presence that is a living, personal experience of Jesus Christ. Sometimes who and how we are is not pleasant at all and would not seem to be very valuable in the work of evangelization. Sometimes even our experience of God is very unpleasant and all the joy of the gospel that is being demanded of us is utterly impossible. In a reflection on the authority of Peter, Hans Urs von Balthasar speaks about the position one must occupy in leadership. “ The lowest place, which is where the servus servorum (servant of the servants) must stand, the place of final contempt and insult, the rubbish-heap on which one is ‘a worm and not a ...

ASCENSION: SEPARATION AND UNION - A Farewell Homily by Eamonn Monson SAC

It’s providential that we are saying farewell to each other on the feast of the Ascension, the day when Jesus and His disciples said goodbye. Somehow, I feel that our parting is graced by the Ascension, is lifted up with Jesus and then it becomes a sacred and holy experience, an experience in which separation and union become one and the same thing because we are all held together as one in Jesus, especially every time we come to Holy Communion at Mass. In all my years of leaving different places I have never felt as emotional as I do on leaving Shankill. I have always said that you have taught me to be a real priest but I completely underestimated the depth and strength of the bond that exists between us and I have been really touched by your response to the news of my leaving that was announced a couple of weeks ago. We are truly one body, one spirit in Christ. The preparation for my life here came in the form of the Camino to Santiago, a journey that emptied me of every...

I COME HERE WITH NOTHING - A Lourdes Bath

- November 01, 2012

I'm told that priests don't have to queue for the Baths in Lourdes but something in me resists such privilege and I go down as a civilian, taking my place with all the other men and wait. It's easier for men than women because there are not as many of us. It's a very hot day but my time standing under the burning sun lasts only half an hour and then I'm into the shaded, seated area. There's a blessedness in waiting in common with others. Waiting and silent. Present. Some men chatter with each other from time to time and over the distorted loud-speaker people are praying and singing to help us focus. It's an assault rather than a help, so I block it out and pray within myself. Sometimes my eyes are closed, sometimes I simply observe. This reminds me of the pool of Bethesda in John 5 - the paralysed waiting for the moment of healing. As well as priests and religious the old and infirm get priority over the rest of us and it is truly ...

AS EVENING FALLS: An Emmaus Reflection - Fr. Eamonn Monson sac

- April 29, 2017

“…they pressed him to stay with them. ‘It is nearly evening’ they said, ‘and the day is almost over.’ So, he went in to stay with them. Now while he was with them at table, he took the bread and said the blessing; then he broke it and handed it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; but he had vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, ‘Did not our hearts burn within us as he talked to us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?’ ” This is one of the loveliest and most tender moments in the Bible, a moment that inspired this prayer that we say in the Divine Office: ‘Stay with us, Lord Jesus, as evening falls; Be our companion on our way. In your mercy inflame our hearts and raise our hope, So that, in union with our brothers and sisters We may recognize you in the Scriptures And in the breaking of Bread Who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever.’ It is the desire of us all that the Lord...

The Place Where Bernadette Prayed – Moments in Lourdes 2013

- August 27, 2013

August 2, 2013 “My grace is enough for you; my power is at its best in weakness…” You can smell the flood, the after-effects wafting from the closed hotels and shops. In the river a snapped tree juts sideways into the air. Reconstruction, sacred areas cordoned off, inaccessible for now. Thankfully the Grotto is open. There’s an overwhelming innocence in the unpretentious humble pilgrims. A recently born baby in her father’s arms, toddlers, normal modern young women and men, the old, the sick; every race and nation. A lot of Indians and Vietnamese. We file along the base of the Grotto, touching the rock made smooth by millions who touched it before us, wiping ourselves with the water that seeps there. Time was when I would have been too sophisticated to engage in this. Sophistication has thankfully abandoned me and I abandon myself to the grace of the present. I kneel in the spot where St. Bernadette prayed and my prayer is intense, sad with the sorrow of those ...

MORE THAN THE HEM OF HIS GARMENT

- January 14, 2013

A couple of years ago Vicka, one of the M edjugorje visionaries came to Dublin to speak at an event in the RDS. I went along because she is one of the reasons why I believe in what is taking place Medjugorje. I trust her sincerity, the radiance of her face. Her talk was followed by Mass and during the distribution of Holy Communion people surged forward towards where she was sitting on the stage, hundreds of hands stretching forward to touch her. To my surprise she herself came forward to touch the outstretched hands. My surprise was not that she responded to the need of the crowd but that all this was taking place immediately after receiving Jesus himself, while Communion was still being distributed. It showed that people didn't really understand what they had just received, who they had just received. I know, understand the need to touch, to be touched in order to be healed but in that moment I thought 'however gifted, impressive Vicka is, she is not Jesus. In...

All Time

MOVED WITH COMPASSION - The Good Samaritan

- July 14, 2013

St. Catherine of Siena had a mystical experience in which she was taken up to Heaven where she experienced the fullness of life and joy in the presence of God. After a while Jesus told her "It's time for you to go back." And when she protested He said, "I need you to go back to bring love to the world!" "I am not able to love" she said. Then Jesus took her heart from her, placed His own Heart within her and said, "now you are able to love!" A lot of the time we are good Samaritans to the people we meet in life; like the man in the gospel our hearts are moved with compassion for the sufferings of others, moved to the extent that we actually do something to help them. But there are times when we feel unable to love as we should and there are times when we are like the priest and the Levite - when confronted with the wounds of another we pass by on the other side and do nothing; sometimes our eyes are shut, our ears and hearts are clos...

ASCENSION: SEPARATION AND UNION - A Farewell Homily by Eamonn Monson SAC

It’s providential that we are saying farewell to each other on the feast of the Ascension, the day when Jesus and His disciples said goodbye. Somehow, I feel that our parting is graced by the Ascension, is lifted up with Jesus and then it becomes a sacred and holy experience, an experience in which separation and union become one and the same thing because we are all held together as one in Jesus, especially every time we come to Holy Communion at Mass. In all my years of leaving different places I have never felt as emotional as I do on leaving Shankill. I have always said that you have taught me to be a real priest but I completely underestimated the depth and strength of the bond that exists between us and I have been really touched by your response to the news of my leaving that was announced a couple of weeks ago. We are truly one body, one spirit in Christ. The preparation for my life here came in the form of the Camino to Santiago, a journey that emptied me of every...

RESURRECTION 2017: An Intense Desire - Fr. Eamonn Monson SAC

- April 16, 2017

The Resurrection of Jesus is a fact in itself, but for the disciples the experiences of the Resurrection are different and varied. Each of them experienced it in his or her own way and at their own pace. And the running of Peter and John to the empty tomb is very symbolic of that. John ran faster than Peter and got there ahead of him but each of them came to the experience of Jesus in their own time and at their own pace. Resurrection can be a very difficult reality to comprehend or to make a connection with. I find myself when I’m going through Holy Week that I have a very strong connection with Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the early part of Holy Saturday – these touch something very deep inside the heart. Resurrection is a very different thing because we haven’t yet experienced it ourselves. But what I do believe is important is the intensity of desire that is in our hearts to have the experience of Jesus risen from the dead and that we go on and persist in our intensi...

AS EVENING FALLS: An Emmaus Reflection - Fr. Eamonn Monson sac

- April 29, 2017

“…they pressed him to stay with them. ‘It is nearly evening’ they said, ‘and the day is almost over.’ So, he went in to stay with them. Now while he was with them at table, he took the bread and said the blessing; then he broke it and handed it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognized him; but he had vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, ‘Did not our hearts burn within us as he talked to us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?’ ” This is one of the loveliest and most tender moments in the Bible, a moment that inspired this prayer that we say in the Divine Office: ‘Stay with us, Lord Jesus, as evening falls; Be our companion on our way. In your mercy inflame our hearts and raise our hope, So that, in union with our brothers and sisters We may recognize you in the Scriptures And in the breaking of Bread Who live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever.’ It is the desire of us all that the Lord...

I Ached For Her Touch - Thoughts on Resurrection

- April 23, 2012

Touch me and see for yourselves; a ghost has no flesh and bones as you can see I have.’ And as he said this he showed them his hands and feet. Their joy was so great that they still could not believe it, and they stood there dumbfounded; so he said to them, ‘Have you anything here to eat?’ And they offered him a piece of grilled fish, which he took and ate before their eyes. (Luke 23) When Maura died I ached for two things - the sound of her voice and her physical touch. We were always physically present to each other - when I came home from Tanzania her hug was fierce and long; we sat shoulder to shoulder on the couch; she linked my arm when we walked. The ache for her touch was my prayer. One night I dreamed there was a knock on the front door at home. I ran to open it and there stood Maura. She had come for a visit from her place in the great beyond. I hugged her tight and said with delight "I can actually FEEL you" and brought her to the kitchen wher...

The Prayer Of Quiet Gazing

- April 01, 2015

St. Teresa of Avila has been one of the most significant guides of my spiritual life since I was 17 years old. I began reading her very early in my life as a Pallottine and there are two moments – a dream and a time in prayer - that have connected me to her. In the dream I walked into an old unfamiliar church where I met my father who was already dead at the time. He pointed me to a side altar at the top left-hand side. When I went there I saw St. Teresa’s tomb in front of the altar. It was like the Italian ones with the shape of the body carved in marble; she was sleeping covered with a blanket. Then she stirred and woke up, telling me to stand between her and the altar. “Stay here” she said “and I will take care of you.” The second happened during a charismatic retreat when I was resting in the Spirit, in a state of quiet. A rope ladder came down from heaven and standing beside it was St. Teresa who pointed to the ladder and said to me, “I have given you the means to ascen...

IF YOU ASPIRE TO SERVE THE LORD - Story Of My Vocation

- June 08, 2014

VOCATION TESTIMONY PENTECOST VIGIL KNOCK JUNE 7, 2014 God often speaks to me through music. I’m at home watching the Late Late show in the mid-1990’s. There’s just Mam and me with the couch pulled up near the fire. I’m going through a bit of inner turmoil, feeling that I’m not living up to my calling as well as I should. Then on comes Charlie Lansborough. I’m not into country music but, when he sings “My Forever Friend”, tears well up in my eyes - not out of guilt or sadness but they were tears of recognition. I felt the inner conviction that Jesus is my forever friend. This conviction is better expressed for me in the song by Delirious? - “What A Friend I’ve Found”. It’s the song I want to die to because it expresses what I live. My life, my vocation is based in my friendship with Jesus. The story of my vocation is not a dramatic one in that I didn’t go through a big conversion experience. When God says to the Prophets “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before...