I Am Said I (Huruma)

Fields Of Gold Sunflowers And Butterflies by LouisaBryantAcrylics I have dabbled In aloneness Dipping my toe Into the shallows A safe distance Close enough to feel The comfort of friends God with skin God shedding skin He tripped me Into ice black I fell Descending right down To the lower regions Black panther prowling Where Christ has gone The deep recesses Mother of all sorrows That knows no solace This patch of earth This grave Those standing round The only environment In need of saving now This patch of earth This grave Beautiful body Dearest child The third to sleep In this soil Parents riven To shreds I am plunged Into their Nothingness My soul abandoned On the altar Rebuffed Lost for words When God accused Is held to account Disappointed That he did not take Me instead of her It's what I asked (Earth Day, April 22, 2016)

HEIDI Friday April 22nd is international Earth Day but I’m only vaguely aware of this. There is no space in me now for the wider world because my whole being is focused on the patch of earth in front of me - the grave that receives the white coffin of a two year old girl. This is our Earth Day and, though it may seem small in the context of the whole world, it is also bigger and more important than all the earth. This patch of earth, this grave has previously received her brother who died 11 years ago aged three months and their sister who died only two months ago at the age of four. How can two parents bear such sorrow? My two young nieces were talking in the back of the car last week, talking about heaven. Laura, the younger, said “If I died and went to heaven I’d have no family.” And Katie said straight away, “But Laura, Jesus is your brother and God is your Father and Mary is your mother.” They are aged 5 and 7 and they always have the knack of putting me in touch with some truth a...

In all  truth  I tell you, when you were young you put on your own belt and walked where you liked; but when you grow old you  will  stretch out your hands, and somebody else  will   put a belt round you and take you where you would rather not go.' (John 21:18) It may come to pass That when I grow old I will always be cold By the fire In the draft Of an open door Afraid when left On my own By my own disowned And when I lose myself My self control They will take me To a place where I would rather not go Leaving me there Until I go senseless Useless And then I will cry like a child With an ache that is not understood Not having the words to define it And all I will know Is a far distant fear Ever near That I am unfit for Communion And raising the cap I no longer possess with respect I will cry like a child Until Christ be in everything And everything within me

The Church is on her knees Tonight with Jesus stripped Of every outwardness And I am most complete When kneeling  to the child And wash the feet of your weariness Kissing the uncovered shyness Of your frailty and mine It is you who have taught me How to be who I am Another broken body of Christ Cup consumed and emptied The full extent of His love Laid down spread out replete