I Am Said I (Huruma)

Jesus Divine Mercy, from the depths of our hearts we ask you please to heal us and our loved ones of our addiction. Transform craving into a desire for the fullness of life; despair into hope;  shame into honour and self-respect; guilt into mercy and self-forgiveness. Heal our memory of hurt, help us to let go of the past and look forward with confidence one step at a time. Lift us up and hold us close to your Heart in Peace and tender Love, that Love that overcomes all. May the light of our candle be warmth in the cold, light in the darkness and the sign of a new dawn. We make this prayer in faith, for nothing is impossible for You. Amen. St. Maximilian Kolbe pray for us St. Padre Alberto Hurtado pray for us Venerable Matt Talbot pray for us ( Eamonn Monson SAC) Jesus I Trust In You

In the premature falling Night Head bowed bent Forward against the absence Of an Indian Summer Rain like Rice Crispies Snap-crackle-popping On the flapping plastic Of my hood Wind whipped ears My eyes in custody See only the ground On which I walk Isolated The world empty now Except for the odd stray Runner squawking seagull Scared crow Swan heads buried In the river Hidden But not hiding I think of all the false Belongings I have tasted The true belonging Of Love That draws me in To the Claddagh church Before Mass Enfolded in the radiance Of Your Face Lifted up to intimate communion

How is a child Supposed to know That the truth lies Somewhere in between Your scolding emotion Scalded devotion? You never said That it was love It feels like hate The too-tight noose Of your embrace Sword of tongue Tasting like captivity Though you keep promising Freedom

I. A bit rough around the edges Said Love With tears And a quivering voice Like the fields he farmed The soil that felt his footfall Strong and straight Loyal Not easy then with Weakness in another Vulnerability became him As with surprising grace He himself surrendered Allowing us a glimpse Of something more tender Faith-filled Praying his way Homeward With an eye for the frailest Left behind II. He is laid to rest now In this land that he loved A calm November day Sun shining, birds singing Breeze blowing Bough of trees bending River flowing Rainbow in a clear Blue sky Last leaf falling Whistling in the wind In this place there is Peace (In memory of Fr. Roger Rafter sac)

(In loving memory of my cousin Paul who found solace in the words of this poem and whose untimely death has given these words another meaning. November 3, 2012) Place me on a shore at dusk By the sea’s healing waters Where thoughts like boats G o floating by my mind’s eye Some circling round Or anchored to distract Yet not to hide your Light My Love Place me at dusk on a shore Where the soul’s calm sea Is stormed and laid to rest At your command To contemplate your Light My Love This I ask Amen!

August 2, 2013 “My grace is enough for you; my power is at its best in weakness…” You can smell the flood, the after-effects wafting from the closed hotels and shops. In the river a snapped tree juts sideways into the air. Reconstruction, sacred areas cordoned off, inaccessible for now. Thankfully the Grotto is open. There’s an overwhelming innocence in the unpretentious humble pilgrims. A recently born baby in her father’s arms, toddlers, normal modern young women and men, the old, the sick; every race and nation. A lot of Indians and Vietnamese. We file along the base of the Grotto, touching the rock made smooth by millions who touched it before us, wiping ourselves with the water that seeps there. Time was when I would have been too sophisticated to engage in this. Sophistication has thankfully abandoned me and I abandon myself to the grace of the present. I kneel in the spot where St. Bernadette prayed and my prayer is intense, sad with the sorrow of those ...

St. Catherine of Siena had a mystical experience in which she was taken up to Heaven where she experienced the fullness of life and joy in the presence of God. After a while Jesus told her "It's time for you to go back." And when she protested He said, "I need you to go back to bring love to the world!" "I am not able to love" she said. Then Jesus took her heart from her, placed His own Heart within her and said, "now you are able to love!" A lot of the time we are good Samaritans to the people we meet in life; like the man in the gospel our hearts are moved with compassion for the sufferings of others, moved to the extent that we actually do something to help them. But there are times when we feel unable to love as we should and there are times when we are like the priest and the Levite - when confronted with the wounds of another we pass by on the other side and do nothing; sometimes our eyes are shut, our ears and hearts are clos...

My Lord and my God My God and my All My Lord  My Life My Love Come to me in electrum White-gold glow Of your beautiful Face Shining upon my darkness Enlilghtening And even though My eyes are closed I can see your Smile Brightening  I am at Peace I am in Love

Ocean heaves a deep Sub sonic song Wave and sound Will wash upon The waiting And not before its time This is love A delicate fine delight Powerful passion Pure patience Keeping its distance Until the appointed Hour In due time They will meet And give birth

It's part of my responsibility to meet with the seminarians one-to-one and together as a community - a formal "business" meeting and an evening of recreation. We're in Nairobi at the formal gathering. I have given a positive, encouraging talk and feel quite satisfied with myself until, one by one, without exception the students begin a tirade of complaint and criticism - not against me directly but against our way of life. By the time they finish I'm feeling fairly depressed and in my desperation I ask, "if it's that bad, then why are you still here; what's keeping you here?" They ponder in silence for a while and then, one by one without exception they tell me why. The response that has stayed with me is that of Jackson from Rwanda. Jackson was at school when a Pallottine came to talk about vocations, looking for new recruits. He read the call of Jeremiah - "before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you came to bi...

Love cries Because it loves Its tears selfish And not selfish at all It cannot bear absence Not loving the one For whom it would Give its whole life If it could be measured It would have The length and depth Of tears Floods and Oceans For Love is water In all its shapes And temperament And when I die Do not put sweet words On my lips I will not say That I am only gone To the next room I will not ask you Not to cry I should not tell you Anything about how You should grieve But if I would I should ask you to cry And cry as you must Until the time for letting go And I would ask for the flowers Of your garden Cascading their fragrance Like incense all around About us as testament To our loneliness and loving The loving that is perfected In all its expressions

She leans forward Into me To pounce upon My faith in God And expose it As a fantasy In which I hide For comfort A  way of avoidance The need of reassurance But I assure her He has long since Ceased to comfort Or crutch me More a dagger now Embedded in my breast A wound in me that bleeds A blessing The wound of love

Open my eyes To see Your Face That Your Light alone May shine in me Open my ears To hear Your Voice That Your Word alone May be my guide Open my mouth And breathe in me That Your Name alone May be on my lips Open my heart And fill my soul That Your Love alone My live in me.